Fried Artichoke, Kale + Asparagus Salad with Pickled Celery + Creamy Parmesan Dressing

For the Pickled Celery

• 1 cup white distilled vinegar
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1 teaspoon sugar
• 4 stalks celery thinly sliced on a bias

For the Asparagus

• ½ bunch asparagus tough ends removed
• 2 tablespoons olive oil
• salt and pepper

For the Dressing

• ½ cup mayonnaise
• 1 lemon zested and juiced
• 1 large clove garlic finely minced (I grated it on the same microplane I used to zest the lemon)
• 1 small bunch chives minced, about 1 heaping tablespoon
• ½ cup grated good quality Parmesan cheese such as Parmigiano Reggiano or Grana Padano
• salt and pepper to taste

For the Artichokes

• 12 ounce (1 bag) frozen artichoke hearts defrosted (I used Trader Joe's brand)
• olive oil for frying
• salt

Assembly

• 1 bunch kale any variety, tough stems removed and roughly chopped*
• 1 teaspoon olive oil
• pinch of salt and pepper to taste